Who Is Serving Whom?

—A Carer and Two Cats

This essay comes from an invitation to write on “A Day in the Life of…” It reads as fiction but is very much based on a real lived experience of a Carer and her two cats. Hope you enjoy!

Cuddled under the warm and cozy blankets of her bed, Maureen awoke to the sound of loud taps from small paws. Her cats, “Theo” and “Cleo”—one or both—had arrived at her closed bedroom door. Their tapping, with the occasional scratching, was the free cat-scheduled, daily morning wake-up call. With a deep sigh, Maureen whispered to herself, “Oof…they know the sun’s almost up, and they want ME up too.” She had learned her cats were naturally crepuscular, often most active in their hunting escapades at dawn or dusk. Theo was more of the hunter than Cleo, but they often worked together as scout and sniper, both seemingly pleased to offer Maureen the gift of ‘a-very-well-played-with-bird’ or rodent, delivered to the “WELCOME” mat outside her front door.

As Maureen slipped her arms into one of her plush, very-well-loved robes, she wondered what ‘gifts’ Theo and Cleo might offer up today. She grimaced momentarily, but she also remembered how Theo and Cleo seemed proud to showcase their hunting prowess, and maybe it was indeed their way of ‘providing’ for her. The sound of more paw tapping and scratching was jarring and Maureen called out, “Okay, okay! Just wait now. I’ll be there in just a minute!”

With a sigh of exasperation, Maureen ran her fingers through her white, still-so-very-curly hair. At the age of 77, she knew something about perseverance and strength, having raised four children, balanced competing roles of paid and unpaid work, and served years as the primary caregiver for her husband. Caring for these cats, Theo and Cleo, presented Maureen with similar yet distinctive challenges, like trying to figure out, ‘What do they want now?’

As she opened the door to her bedroom, Maureen was quickly greeted by Theo and Cleo, each of them rubbing up against the plushness of her robe. Each ‘meow’ seemed to impart questions of “Where have YOU been? Have you not heard us?” She announced, “Okay, I’m up. I’m here” and squinted her eyes as she noticed the sunlight starting to filter through the east-facing window.

Hoping to get the coffee maker started, Maureen made her way to the kitchen but nearly stumbled with both cats underfoot, unwilling to let her out of their sight. With a scolding tone, Maureen firmly asserted, “Alright, now that’s quite enough. I haven’t even had my coffee yet. You BOTH HAVE TO LEARN TO BE PATIENT. That’s right. Patient.” She paused, looking down at her cats as they both looked up to meet her eyes. She could sense their restlessness to begin their morning patrol of the yard and neighbouring farm. Both cats dashed out as soon as she slid open the heavy glass sliding door. Maureen let out a deep exhale hoping she might now get to start her own morning routine. However, any notion of time for herself was short-lived. Within moments, one of her cats had returned and was patting the glass door to come back in. The dance of ‘in and out’, was about to begin—Theo out and Cleo in, Cleo out and Theo in, both cats out, Theo back in and then Theo out, and eventually…both cats in. Each day was a variance of the dance, with a tempo not always so predictable.

With the dance of ‘in and out’ finished for now, both Theo and Cleo moved with measured poise, pausing at the kitchen entrance to watch Maureen as she poured and prepared her first cup of coffee. They followed her with their eyes as she took a seat in the deeply-cushioned1930’s club chair. The chair had large wide arms and a spacious top rail, providing plenty of possible spaces for Theo and Cleo to station themselves with Maureen.

As per usual, Cleo and Theo would engage in a bit of a tussle with an occasional swat of paws as they sorted out which one would get to be ‘top cat’ with either the highest resting spot or the one closest to Maureen. As they eventually settled in, Maureen started to hear a slow rhythmic purring coming from Theo and then a similar purring from Cleo.

The purrs seemed to calibrate with her own nervous system, creating a collective connection of calmness.

Feeling well-companioned by her cats, Maureen thought about how much she enjoyed these extended pauses of silence and peace. She smiled as she remembered a friend telling her that dogs serve us and we serve cats. Yes, her Cleo and her Theo could certainly be demanding, and perhaps they expected her to serve them. She knew she was quite good at taking care of them, responding to their wants even when they were most impatient. Yet, in this moment of peaceful bliss, Maureen was discovering that her cats could offer her an elixir of contentment. She noticed how her cats, with eyes opening halfway and periodically glancing her way, seemed to convey such presence and awareness of her—their Carer. She felt a sense of safeness. Maureen rested her own eyes, pausing to appreciate the soothing sound of the melody of purrs. Perhaps Theo and Cleo were showing their own way of caring for her…even if they only served at their pace and at their discretion.